HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA TOM!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA TOM!
The Thought Project
RSSDeath is the common right of Toads and Men. Why swagger then?
“You have nothing to lose but your chains. But I don’t happen to agree. If chained is where you have been, your arms will always bear marks of the shackles.”
The Poisonwood Bible
Lately, I’ve been thinking about getting a tattoo. Not the silly Chinese characters I considered years ago, a fancy, a decoration. No. If I can withstand the pain, I’d like a broken shackle to hang forever from my left ankle, for even if I choose to leave the life I was tossed into by the lottery of birth, I will always bear the marks of what happened. Part of that chain will be the links of my own choices, the decisions I made that sent ripples of disaster across the pond of so many lives. And part of it will be a combination of fate and simple coincidence, events that came to me one after another like a rainstorm of happenings as my life spun out of control. It doesn’t matter. It happened, and I will remember.
Do I want to forget? Only a year ago, I thought I could wrap up my business with these people I called “family” and move somewhere, miles away, to start a new life. I’d wake up in a sunny apartment, catch the train to work, and smile as I’d pass through sliding doors to the life I’ve always wanted. “Alex, they need you on floor three for a cranial cystectomy,” a friend and coworker would tell me. And he’d be none the wiser, never know the life I left behind. The name and person I was so many years ago would be something confined to photo albums in the corner of a dark closet, looked at maybe once a decade.
Am I allowed to remember? I obliquely touch the topic during small talk with the few close friends who know, and the room goes silent, air particles gaining weight by the second. They listen, and encourage, because such is their duty, but it is hard for them to hear. Even after the fact, it is hard for anyone to hear, especially when I need to talk about it.
I know better now, than to ask pointless questions. I can try to run away, but that which happened has colored me in ways irreversible. “He’s one of the most pessimistic people I know,” I hear, and no, they are mistaken. They incorrectly measure for “pessimism” the outlook that I have grown to use, one where the morality of an action depends solely on the effects it has. Where, if so necessary, it is okay to manipulate, lie, and cheat, for some things are required for survival. It’s a mixture of consequentialism, Machiavellianism, and realism, but it is not pessimism. If anything, it’s one of the most optimistic perspectives I can imagine, because in the end, I considered myself worth saving.
So yes, I’m the abused child, and it’s a fact I will have to live with. Do I need a physical reminder of what happened to me, so that I can daily recall the horror and prevent it from happening to someone else? Perhaps the shackle-marks I already bear will be enough. Give a few years, and I will know.
No, they do not. A handkerchief appears as a major plot device in Othello, written in the early 17th century, while Marie Antoinette was executed in the late 18th century.
Do not sacrifice facts. They are not yours to sacrifice.
(Source: selfinspiration)
Religion
I could become “religious” if it was defined as “one who goes to church” I don’t think so.
i made a new best friend recently.
and i’m utterly in love with him.
It’s hard to tell if someone’s avoiding you or just plain busy.
What colleges would you recommend looking into?
Anonymous
It really depends on what you are looking for.
If you’re interested in colleges in Texas (assuming you’re a resident of Texas)…
- University of Texas at Austin
- Texas A&M University
- Rice University
- University of Texas at Dallas
These are generally the schools that are popular in Texas. However like I said, it really depends on what you’re looking for because not every school is the same and every college has something different and unique to offer.
“Parisian Macarons + Buttercream”
So I just watched a live Google + Hangout on making Macarons…
Holy crap, that was the creepiest thing I’ve ever done/watched. D:
At least I know that it’s supposed to be watched. I think. But still, ugh, so weeeird.
About The Thought Project
What's on your mind today? Welcome to the Westwood Thought Project, a completely anonymous shared tumblr. The beauty of it is, no one knows exactly who posts unless they choose to reveal themselves. This is a thought experiment just to see what happens when we let people be creative. What's your style?
